Open mind and heart

Attitude: Open mind and open heart
“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are.” -Anonymous

In the context of meeting each moment just as it is, our attitude plays a decisive role. For example, a few years ago, my wife and I were meeting a friend in a city we’d never visited before. We agreed with our friend to stay at a bed and breakfast close to the city center. The two of us arrived first, checked in, and marveled at how charming and lovely we found our accommodations. Upon returning from a quick stroll around the city center, we found our friend had arrived at our B&B. While the two of us very much liked our place, our friend kept pointing out things that were, in her opinion, inadequate or lacking. It struck me how the same place, during the same day, could be seen in such different ways by different people. This encounter demonstrated clearly how our individual attitudes influence how we feel as well as what and how we see.

Recognize that this is a unique moment, a moment in which you have never ever been before and a moment in which you’ll never be again. This mentality is what is sometimes known as “beginner’s mind.” It’s just like visiting a new place – our senses sharpen, we pay close attention to what is happening, and we see the moment in its uniqueness. That is our invitation to genuinely appreciate it. Think about the first time you traveled to a new city and how everything captured your attention, from the quality of the light, to the local architecture and color, to unfamiliar foods and aromas. Newness invites awareness.

On the other hand, if you travel to the same location again and again, or if you move to that place, some of the features that were new become familiar over time and, therefore easy to ignore, partly because you think you already know the place. Similarly, even though you have only one chance to be in each day, you may assume, because you have seen so many other Tuesdays that you already know what will happen or how you will feel on this Tuesday. Predicting what will happen (projecting the known onto the unknown) is a way we remove anxiety triggered by uncertainty. Trying to predict is also a way of living in the past, because predictions are usually based on previous experiences and on what you think you know. Since life is always changing in unpredictable ways, it is impossible for most of us to accurately predict what will happen in just 48 or 72 hours. Having an open mind enables you to come to each moment appreciating that you have never been in this moment before, so that you can approach this moment with curiosity and awareness.

The complement to an open mind is an open heart. Have you noticed how arguments with our loved ones and friends often result from somebody holding on tightly to his or her way of thinking and feeling? It is difficult to be receptive while feeling defensive. Inviting the mind to open is also an invitation for the heart to open, releasing the tendency to decide beforehand how you “should” feel. Believing that the world is a hostile place closes your heart, and filters everything you see through fear and anxiety. Seeing the world as a place of cooperation and connection creates possibilities for communication and community.

Although we already explored these ideas in a previous episode, it is helpful to contemplate them again. Take a moment to reflect on how you see the world. Is it a hostile place or a friendly place? Does life require you to be aggressive and competitive, or does it ask you to be helpful and cooperative? What direct evidence has informed your current views? How do your ideas influence your attitude, perceptions, emotions and interactions?

To uncover some of the unconscious ways of thinking and feeling that influence your attitude, consider these questions, too.

• Are there obstacles preventing you from showing up to each moment with an open mind and an open heart?
• What assumptions color your mind?
• What predispositions color your emotions?
• What is the relationship between your mind and heart, does your open heart automatically invite your mind to open or is it the other way around?
• What would it take for you to invite yourself to participate in your life with gentle curiosity, gratitude, and enjoyment?
• What happens if you see that this day will never come back?
• What happens if you act as if you had infinite time for what you are doing?

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This is an excerpt from the book Unravel the thread: Applying the ancient wisdom of yoga to live a happy life

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